Headline of the Day: EU Officials Rule Water Cannot be Advertised as Preventing Dehydration.

The Telegraph:

EU officials concluded that, following a three-year investigation, there was no evidence to prove the previously undisputed fact.

Producers of bottled water are now forbidden by law from making the claim and will face a two-year jail sentence if they defy the edict, which comes into force in the UK next month.

Last night, critics claimed the EU was at odds with both science and common sense. Conservative MEP Roger Helmer said: “This is stupidity writ large."

Between this and the Republican primary, Stewart and Colbert really don't have to do much work these days.