The Meta Awards

From McSweeny's:

Best Long, Rambling Speech, Which Must Be Forcefully Cut Short by the
Orchestra, Given After Receiving This Award

Most Confused That These Are the Meta Awards, Not The Mehindra
Excellence in Theatre Awards, and About to Be Further Confused That
He/She Has Won This Very Award, Even Though He/She Is Clearly in the
Wrong Place

Best Usage of This Award to Further an Unrelated Pet Cause

Most Worthy of Winning This Award By Sheer Virtue of the Number of Times
He Has Not Previously Won This Award

Best Feigned Humility During Acceptance of This Award

Best Sound Editing in a Film or Documentary Short

Best Accidental Slip of a Profanity During the Acceptance Speech of This

The Lifetime Achievement Award for Best Overall Ability to Have an
Entire Life Represented in a Moving, Two-Minute Montage

Best Long Shot Win of This Award

Best Overall Award Winner

(via Kottke)